Best. Day. Ever.

To celebrate our joint birthday - Kal's on November 9th, Sorcha's on November 20th - we decided to treat ourselves to something really nice. We hit Sel Gris for their late-night menu, as we'd heard really good things about the restaurant in general and its late-night menu in particular.

Oh. My. God.

The English language, while extremely capable of conveying what a wonderful experience we had, is not in any way able, in its coherent form, to explain the state of comatose foodjoy we entered into after our meal. Thus, while Kal, the smart one, will write about our meal, Sorcha, the evil one, will interpret it in  more apropos LOLcat speech.

The jewel of Sel Gris' late-night menu is the "Farm" burger: "Ground lamb, beef, foie gras, on house made brioche bun, with blue cheese, melted onions and duck fat fries."

DIS R FANCEE CHEEZBURGER. IT R NOT BURGER KING.

Although the N00bs usually take care to order two different dishes in order to sample as much as possible, we both opted for this dish.  We had a feeling it would be too good to share, and we were right.

DIS BURGER MINE NAO, U GO AWAY.

When our burgers arrived, my mind could not comprehend what it was I was looking at.  For a while, I thought I was looking at a double cheeseburger -- a patty of lamb and a patty of beef.  Further inspection proved, however, that there was but one patty (a combination of beef and lamb), and the other "patty" was in fact the largest unadulterated slab of foie gras I have seen in my entire life.

DIS BURGER HAF A FWAH. IT A BIG FWAH. DIS RESSERAWNT GENRUS WIF DEY FWAH.

Before I got my first bite in, Chef Mondok came to our end of the bar and asked, "How are those burgers?"  Sorcha replied promptly, "This burger is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

DIS BURGER GIFT FRUM BIG KITTEH IN SKY. BIG KITTEH MAKED IT AND SAW DAT IT WUZ GUD.

I was grateful to her for putting words to such an experience, because once I'd had a bite I was pretty much rendered speechless.  The thick-cut duck fat fries were a perfect accompaniment -- they weren't heavily seasoned, thus providing a nice counterpoint to the massive flavor of the burger.

DIS BURGER SO GUD U KITTENS WILL HEAR OF IT LEJEND. U EAT DIS BURGER. IF U NOT LIVE HEAR, U COMES AND EATS. N00BZ WILL EVEN GIVE U RIED FROM AYR PORT. THX TO DUK AND LAM AND KAO WHO DYE SO WE CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER.

Really, "transcendent" sums up the whole Sel Gris experience.  We were warmly greeted by the host, who immediately put us at ease with casual banter; we'd arrived about ten minutes too early for the late-night menu, so he checked to make sure it would be all right with the kitchen if we waited, then sat down to chat with us for a few minutes, curious to see how we'd heard about the late-night service.

WE CAN HAZ WAIT FOR FWAH BURGER, Y/N? Y! WE CAN HAZ FRENLEE SURVUSS AND CHAT WIF HOST ABAOT FUD BLOGGIN, Y/N? Y! DEY IZ NICE PEEPUL AT SELL GREE!

When our menus arrived, we mentioned that we'd likely be getting the burgers; when our server (not the same person) arrived just a couple of minutes later, he asked if we were going with the burgers. Communication between the staff was clearly as efficient and elegant as the motion of the servers gliding around the cramped dining area as if they had all the space in the world.

DIS PEEPUL IS SNEAKEE! DEY NO WHUT WE WANTS WIFOUT ASK! IS LIEK DEY REEDZ OUR MINDZ!

I've heard a little griping on the internet about the decor, and I can't for the life of me figure out what that's about.  The warm, casual/elegant atmosphere is strongly supported by the clever and unusual decor.  It may not be as "Portland" as other places, but it's self-assured and internally consistent, and it means more to me that a chef and his design team have clearly thought these things out than whether they have chosen to go with the regional norm.

WHY PEEPUL SAY IT NOT PRIDDY? IS PRIDDY! IS COMFY! WE CAN HAZ VIEW UV SHEFFS AT WURK! DIS MAEK US HAPPY!

Back to the food: for dessert, we shared a chocolate mousse with an orange sauce.  First, splitting the dessert was a good idea -- they are generous in their dessert portions.  Second, this dessert was absolutely sublime.  The balance of chocolate and orange was spot-on. I found myself closing my eyes every time I took a bite, just to savor it a little bit more.

OMG DIS DIZURT LIEK SEX ON PLATE ONLY WIFOUT AWKWURD SILENSE AFTERWURD AND IMPTEE PROMISSUS TO CALL U FOR NOTHER DATE.

As readers of this blog will know, the N00bs are pretty picky about their coffee.  Sel Gris serves a type we'd never heard of before (Courier Coffee), and it blew us away -- so much so that it was a pleasure to polish off a large French press pot at a very late hour that may bode poorly for our sleeping habits.  As with everything else, the coffee service was also rather transcendent: the cream and sugar was presented attractively, and the host even stopped by to pour Sorcha's second cup from the press for her.

CAWFEE R NUM. CREEM PICHUR LUK LIEK BIRD. IZ NOT BIRD - DO NOT EAT! IS STILL PRIDDY THO. PEEPUL CAYTER TO LAZYNESS OF GESTS.

Finally, we were presented with two delicate truffles topped with sel gris.  We'd never had salted chocolate before, and oh, my word.  I understand what the big deal is all about now.  The salt enhances the flavor of the chocolate -- much as we N00bs noticed years ago when eating potato chips with our M&Ms.  Absolutely brilliant.

WTF? WHY DERE SAWT ON DAT CHOKLIT? DUDE, WAIT...WHAT? IS GUD! NOM NOM NOM

All in all, this beautiful experience took just under an hour from walking in to walking out.  Service was astonishingly attentive and friendly, never crossing the line into hovering or precious.  We felt quite special -- as I'm sure every other diner did.  This is definitely a top-notch restaurant.  And I can now say I've had a $16 burger that was well worth it.

DIS A MONEY WELL SPENDED. WE GOES HEAR AGIN. U GOES HEAR TO. SRSLY, WE WILL PICKS U UP AT AYR PORT. JUS LET US NO.

Sel Gris
(503) 517-7770
1852 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland. OR 97214
Late-night menu 10:00pm - Close
Visit the Sel Gris website (although there's nothing much there at the moment).

Comments

[Tommy]

IT LUK LEIK I WIL HAZ TO GO LATE NITE NAU! IT GUD I LIV ONLEE FEIV BLOX UHWAY!

[sorchar]

U LUKKY! WE HAS A JELLUS!